Unsolved Mysteries

Unsolved Mysteries feels like a fever dream even when you AREN’T sick.

That theme music alone could change the atmosphere of an entire house. Suddenly your living room felt haunted at 1:30 in the afternoon. And somehow, when you were home sick, that made the show even better.

Unlike the loud chaos of Maury or Jerry Springer, Unsolved Mysteries pulled you in quietly. Creepy reenactments. Strange disappearances. Robert Stack staring into your soul through the television. You’d swear you were going to nap, then suddenly become emotionally invested in a missing persons case from 1987.

This show also has massive upset potential in GoatWars because people remember the feeling of watching it more than specific episodes. That matters.

Would you rather spend your sick day laughing with SpongeBob or spiraling into paranoia with Unsolved Mysteries? Tough call. That’s why this contender works.