Ron Swanson

If Ron Swanson isn’t your top pick in GoatWars for 'Greatest Parks and Recreation Characters of All Time,' are you even watching the show right? The man's a carnivorous, woodworking, government-hating paradox who's basically every libertarian's spirit animal. Ever tried explaining to someone why your barbecue has a strict 'no veggie burger' policy? That’s a Swanson fan’s daily grind. His deadpan humor alone should win battles, let alone his disdain for skim milk, which he rightly claims is water lying about being milk.