Dick’s Sporting Goods

Dick’s Sporting Goods is like that overzealous friend who insists on getting you pumped for a weekend of soccer only to end up drenching your new cleats in grass goo. They’ve got everything from the latest gear to the kind of obscure energy drinks that make you question life choices. Can we talk about how every time you walk in, it feels like a sporting goods museum double-dog daring you to actually get active? And let's not even get started on the fanboys treating the clearance aisle like it's Black Friday. If you’re not Team Dick’s, what are you even doing?